Saturday, November 19, 2011

"No biting! Lani hurts!"

As some of you know the last few months have been a challenge in the Harris household. And while I've tried to avoid mentioning private details on here, it would be irresponsible to deny that this time has taken a toll on all of us, especially Lani. Initially she was a little clingy, asked a lot of questions, and needed extra attention. I noticed as she got use to the changes she seemed to be returning to her normal ways. Then we started getting notes sent home. Once in a while... Once a month... Once a week... Once a day.... Five times in one day... "Lani is biting her friends" At first I thought "well, maybe they aren't her friends!" "what did they do to her!" but as the notes became more regular it dawned on me that there must be more to the story. So I started to research why kids bite. Here is some of wht I found: * anxiety -I am really excited/scared * frustrated when they can't get a point across -I am so mad at you -You are standing too close to me *  changes at home or in home environment * feeling left out, I want to play with you * Hungry/tired *understimulted -I'm bored *overstimulated- Are overwhelmed by the sounds, light or activity level in this setting *looking for a response!  experimenting to see what will happen *attention  *Need more active playtime *Are teething *Have an need for oral stimulation         And while i think a few of these are part of Lani's issue, sadly one thing kept sticking out to me "changes at home" So while I'm telling her "no biting. Biting hurts" I'm thinking " no biting! Lani hurts!" It broke my heart. My baby was hurting and frustrated and couldn't explain herself. How could I make this better for her? How could I take her pain and frustration away? How could I help her, when I was hurting myself? So I started to research how to help her release anger and stop biting! We are working hard on both. Letting her know that it's ok to be sad, mad, frustrated, or hurt! And I will do my absolute best to help her deal with this, all the while reminding her "no biting! Biting hurts"

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