After being in a relationships for almost 1/2 of my life (legitimately 17 of my 32 years), being alone is sometimes devastating. There were times i would pray for quietness and alone time, and now my life is full of it.
At night when Lani goes to sleep, or in the morning before she wakes, all thats left is the quiet....the still... and more alone time than i ever knew existed.
You look for company, friends, family to help fill void, but when it all boils down to it, the void is still there. You look around and see no one.
And suddenly the quiet that I once craved, seems so loud. Almost deafening.
Dealing with feelings and emotions that i didn't expect to experience until my 70's or at least my 60's. But here i am 32 and living the life i never imagined, and experiencing a silence that seems so loud.
People keep telling me that 2015 will be a big year for me, and I hope that is true