Keeping it Real

I feel like i constantly have to walk a line between being respectful to my family, friends, Lani, and Sean's memory, while keeping my blog authentic to my life and my story.

I'm always surprised at the reach of my blog...

Today alone i had views and hits from Moscow, Bangladesh, and Foshan (still have no idea where that is... and if my ADD doesn't kick in too much i will google it after this post... but i digress)

So when i get emails, texts, and dm's from people who read my posts I'm always shocked...
Because despite what some may think, the goal of this blog is to be an outlet of my feelings through out my life journey, as it always has been.

For years i've posted about my struggles
 ... my bucket runneth over....


And while some my posts are controversial to others, the harsh reality is that they are my truth...

The even bigger reality is that for every post i make, there are probably 3-4 that are just sitting in the draft box...

So how do i keep it real to myself and be contentious of everyone's feelings?

I don't know that I can...

Because for every post that is hard for others to read, it was  and is even harder for me to live.

THIS IS MY REALITY.

I love Sean VERY MUCH. And i always will, but my blogging is cathartic and part of my journey through  life...

So if my posts have hurt or offended any of you, I am sorry.  That is never my intent.  My only goal is to be real, and hopefully one day when L is old enough to read these, provide some understanding and clarification as to why i've made certain decisions in my life.