Just 1 Month shy of 2!!!!

It is so amazing to me that my baby girl is almost two.

It seems like only yesterday i was blogging about being 9 months preggo and miserable or her being 11 months old. Often I go back and read those posts, or the post from when she was born in awe at what a miracle she has been in our lives.

(Time to refocus before the tears start back)

So what is Lani up to...

~She has successfully quit biting since she moved to the 2 year old room.

(i must say this could have been avoided had they moved her a long time ago but dont even want to go there.Did i ever post my blog about biting??? note to self: check that)

~She Loves Loves Loves "Baby" (her doll) and her purse. She puts Baby in the stroller every morning, grabs her purse, waive bye, and says "See Ya Mommy". Not quite sure where all she is going, but i know the visit her kitchen area in the den, and the play house in her bed room regularly.

~She Love to "showa" instead of taking baths. I think this is because she sees everyone else shower.

~She made her first trip to NYC (post coming soon as my cousin sends me the pics. Shout out to Matty)

~She had her first Junior's Cheesecake experience an is also addicted!

~Her language skills have been improving greatly. I can actually understand what she is asking most of the time.

~She will tell you "Go nigth night" and grab her blankie when she is sleepy

~She loves to say her prayers before bed and proudly announces "ANEN" when we finish (we are working on saying Amen)
~She recognizes more voices on the phone and will ask to call them.

~She loves to look at pics and ask who they are or yell their names if she knows them 

~she is obsessed with "boogies" and will pick your nose or make you pick hers

~ She loves to dance, especially to Elmo and Backyardigans

~She loves to cuddle

 ~She is even more obsessed with cell phones, and now knows how to call her favorite people, thanks to my favorites button. So if you get a call from my phone and its silent or random babble and screaming, thats Lani

~She knows how to use my Ipad better than i do. I swear Sean bought it for my bday but she has taken it over.

 ~She has added Barney and Bee bop (baby bop) to her tv request.  mind you we never watched barney when she asked so I'm assuming this one started at Nini's house

~She is still a very picky eater.  Her main eats consist of bananas, avocado, chicken, soy milk, apple/carrot juice, cereal, oreos, mac and cheese, rice, and most beans and veggies.

My mom introduced her to lollipops at Halloween, so now she constantly asking for candy. I usually tell her its all gone, but she points to the bowl and asks again

~She loves the dogs (Bella came over while we were in NYC and never left)

~She knocks at the door then yell "whose it"

~Tries to force people to kiss her feet or bite her toe nails. lol

~She knows Mommy's, Brian's Daddy's, Nini's, and Poppy's car and announces when she she's them

~She still loves book and will had it to you and say "Weed it"
~She knows most of the sesame street characters names

~She sings along to the radio. Especially Adelle.  My mom says she has an old soul

~She knows the name and sound or actions for dogs, cats, fish, hippos (i didnt know they had an action till she told me), lions, tigers, bears, frogs, rabbits, ducks, chickens, cows, horses, monkeys, giraffe (another shocker for me) 

SN: i would love to credit my awesome mommy skills for all of this, but her teachers just really rock

~Every color is yellow or blue

~She can count to 10 but tends to throw a 6  in the mix randomly

 

Common Lani Phrases:

No tank you

Peeeeease

top it (stop it)

I bake it (I break it)

Oh yeah

Kissies

He's Silly (any one who makes her laugh)

You tink (stink. every time she busts her way in while someone is using the restroom)

Get down (when she wants out of bed) 

 SIT! (which can sometimes be mistaken for another word)

I poo poo 

go potty

yeah mommy

mess-in (her medicine) 
Bow (she is obsessed with bows)
Blow (no matter is the food is hot or cold)
Wayer (water)

I got choo
Owie-hurt (whenever she has a boo boo which is constantly because she is always running)
Tickle tickle


I could go on for days but i'm guessing you get the point.  Cant believe the next update my sweet baby will be 2!!!!

May Your Days Be Merry And Bright....

Yesterday we took Lani to see Santa. 

After last years reaction, i was a little nervous.

 

So I have been talking to her about Santa.

Showing her picture of Santa.

All in hopes that things would go well.

So we went to the mall yesterday, and the line was surprisingly short.

Shortly after one of "Santa's Elves" arrive to tell us, that Santa will be on break from 5-6, mind you it's 4:30, so expect a 2 hour wait. (YEAH!!!)

We figured what the heck, and decided to hang out in line.

Coloring to help pass the time

After 2 AWESOME HOURS, we made it in!

Not quite as big as a  polar bear cub! 

Meeting the Ice Princess (she was sooo excited)

 The Snow Room! By far her favorite part

I was thinking to myself this is awesome.  

Next stop, Santa!

Before we got close i asked Lani "Who is that?"

Lani~ "San Cause"

Me~ "Do you want to take a picture with Santa?"

Lani~"Yeah!" (nonchalantly)

Santa~ "Hi Lani!"

Enter Screaming child.

It was all down hill from there.  

After 10 or so failed shots with Santa and Mrs. Claus, we decided it may be better if I were in the pic too!

The funniest part, is although she looks like she is smiling in the pic, she is actually trying to get away from Santa!

 I was lucky to get a lot of great shots yesterday!

I would say all in all it was a success

So From Our Family To Your... 

  

May Your Days Be Merry And Bright.

Merry Christmas 

Love, The Harris Family

I forgive you~

This week our marriage reached, in my opinion, its lowest point.  Now I will save you the details, because that doesn't need to be shared with the world.

What I do want to say is I forgive you.
Now mind you He has not asked for forgiveness.
He hasn't even apologized.
But for me to move forward in my day and my life I have to forgive him.
Do I have to forget? Never!
But holding on to anger is toxic to the soul.

So why stay "separated" so long?

Before we were married, we met with his family pastor, who also married us.
He explained to us that the in the eyes of God, and the Bible, divorce should never be an option. (i have included the verses that were referenced during our counseling and or our wedding in case you are wondering the biblical reason behind them)

Some Pharisees came to him, and to test him they asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause?" He answered, "Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." They said to him, "Why then did Moses command us to give a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her?" He said to them, "It was because you were so hard-hearted that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery." (NRSV, Matthew 19:3-9)

Separation? Yes.  

Now, for those who are married I have a command, not just a suggestion. And it is not a command from me, for this is what the Lord himself has said: A wife must not leave her husband. But if she is separated from him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not divorce his wife. (TLB, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11)

There were stipulations to a "separation" ~
You must always keep in mind what is God's will
~What God has put together, let no man put asunder. Mark 10:9

That you must not break the vows of marriage
~ To love, cherish, honor, be faithful

" Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (NAS, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)"

The role of a man and a wife:

 "Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (NIV, 1 Peter 3:1-4, 7)

 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV, Ephesians 5:33)

part of our ceremony:  " The Woman came from a Man's rib, not from his feet to be walked on, not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved."

That you stay focused on the goal of the separation
 ~ To mend your marriage and hearts
When ever you have problems, seek help
~ From the church, bible, or a counselor with the same beliefs, not family and friends

 i have to admit, that this is where i struggled.  While i did seek help at church, in the bible, and with an amazing counselor, I also spoke with my family and friends.  In hind sight I understand why this is not wise.  Your family/friends love you unconditionally, and when you forgive, they cant.

Now during the counseling that seemed to be such a foreign concept, and an unnecessary topic.
We are happy, and in love
We will never break up.
We would never separate!
But still i listened and agreed!
Who am I to argue with a minister????

...fast forward to today...

I feel so naive to think that we would have this fairytale marriage.
Because as we all know fairy tales are stories, and not real life.

Understand, I do not hold him solely responsible for our troubles.
I have played a role in this marriage as well.
Am I blaming myself for his actions? No
I am simply holding myself responsible for my own decisions and their consequences.

A friend of mine told me this week (on a completely different topic)"If God can bring you to it, He'll being you through it."



So with that said every night when Lani and I say our prayers, we pray for our immediate family/household, that God will lead us where we belong, and for our friends and family, that God will continue to provide them with what ever they need, may it be strength, courage, love, comfort.

With that said I ask that you also pray for our family.  That God provides us with what ever guidance we need to get through this STORM.

i watched a video this morning on youtube, which seemed so inspiring and eye opening.
the young lady states that instead of asking God why me? start asking yourself why not you? God put you through this challenge because he knew you were strong enough to handle it ...
 " And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it"1 Corinthians10 :13


She goes further to say "Never ask God to take you out of the storm. Simply ask God to guide you through it....Sometimes God calms the storm, and sometimes God lets the storm rage to calm you."


SN: I know some of you reading this will be amazed  (possibly disgusted) by the stance I have chosen to take, and remain separated, not divorced. And I understand and accept your opinion.  I just ask that you give mine the same respect.  As always this blog is open, and you are free to post your opinions, and if you disagree, then we will just agree to disagree.

A soundtrack to my life...

Do you ever feel like you hear a song playing and it fits your life perfectly?????

Well there are quite a few times where I'm sure my life is one of those Lifetime LMN movies of the week!

And every great movie has its own soundtrack-

How it all began
Erykah Badu love of my life

How it was
Etta James at last


How i wish i felt
Heather Headley I wish I wasn't

How I really feel
Coldplay-">fix you


How I wish he felt
Anthony Hamilton - ">her heart


How I feel somedays
All American Rejects ">gives you hell


Then the next day
John Legend ">stay with you


And the next day
Pink-">so what


What I imagine what his life feels like somedays
Pink- ">sober


What's it like..
Addicted-a>"> Kelly Clarkson

Story of my life
Lauryn Hill-">ex factor


What you told me
Ginuwine-differences


The questions
Tamia-stranger in my house


A song to my daughter
Martina McBride-"> my daughters eyes

"No biting! Lani hurts!"

As some of you know the last few months have been a challenge in the Harris household. And while I've tried to avoid mentioning private details on here, it would be irresponsible to deny that this time has taken a toll on all of us, especially Lani. Initially she was a little clingy, asked a lot of questions, and needed extra attention. I noticed as she got use to the changes she seemed to be returning to her normal ways. Then we started getting notes sent home. Once in a while... Once a month... Once a week... Once a day.... Five times in one day... "Lani is biting her friends" At first I thought "well, maybe they aren't her friends!" "what did they do to her!" but as the notes became more regular it dawned on me that there must be more to the story. So I started to research why kids bite. Here is some of wht I found: * anxiety -I am really excited/scared * frustrated when they can't get a point across -I am so mad at you -You are standing too close to me *  changes at home or in home environment * feeling left out, I want to play with you * Hungry/tired *understimulted -I'm bored *overstimulated- Are overwhelmed by the sounds, light or activity level in this setting *looking for a response!  experimenting to see what will happen *attention  *Need more active playtime *Are teething *Have an need for oral stimulation         And while i think a few of these are part of Lani's issue, sadly one thing kept sticking out to me "changes at home" So while I'm telling her "no biting. Biting hurts" I'm thinking " no biting! Lani hurts!" It broke my heart. My baby was hurting and frustrated and couldn't explain herself. How could I make this better for her? How could I take her pain and frustration away? How could I help her, when I was hurting myself? So I started to research how to help her release anger and stop biting! We are working hard on both. Letting her know that it's ok to be sad, mad, frustrated, or hurt! And I will do my absolute best to help her deal with this, all the while reminding her "no biting! Biting hurts"